4 Practices to Develop Great Relationships
4 Practices to Develop Great Relationships
Do you find yourself shouting at the kids? Do you rant at the bus driver for being late? The shop assistant for the queue? The bank for an empty bank account ? The staff for failing?
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I know I do and have done in the past. Why do we do that? Is it fair to our family, our team, our community of people living in the same world as us ?
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Emotional Immaturity is a Reflection of An Inner Critic
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Emotional Immaturity
When we become emotional with our world we express to the world irrational behaviour. You worry, withdraw, become anxious, panic, angry, frustrated. We may raise our voice, confront, criticise, condemn, complain.
This emotional immaturity does us no credit. It damages our relations with family, friends, team and Community. It can harm our health in the short or long term.
We may find we get a result, a win for our ego, but everyone else loses.
This is not good for us in the long term, we do no good in our life.
Reflection
When we become emotional we are offering to the world a reflection of our inner beliefs and values. We may have many good beliefs but some of them can limit us, create a character that limits how we project ourself to the world.
Inner Critic
We may not be aware of the subconscious hidden beliefs and values that drive our behaviour.
Some of our values and beliefs can be critical of ourself.
This could from a teacher who told you you would never amount to anything, or a parent that taught you to know your place, school friends that called you ugly, a boss who criticised your best efforts.
The worst is that you take these views in as memories and convert them to beliefs and values of your own self worth. Your beliefs become critical of you and your behaviour.
“I can’t do that” “I don’t deserve to be loved” “I am not good enough” “I always fail” “I never have enough money”
Your inner critic stops you finding inner peace and drives emotional outbursts that reflect your lack of self worth and self belief.
When you criticise, condemn and complain about others you are reflecting your ‘apparent failings’. You are criticising others as your parent, teacher, siblings, boss criticised you.
This is your emotional immaturity.
Stop It
Find the inner Control to manage your behaviour. Reflect and journal to discover and understand your inner self criticisms.
Recognise the triggers in a social situation that allow the inner critic to emerge so you can consciously control that process.
Stop emotional outbursts. Stop emotional immaturity limiting yourself in a social context and allow yourself to form coherent long term relationships with a partner, family, friends, team, clients and community.
This requires change and managing your daily habits is the best way. Our daily habits reflect our deepest values. Spend time and effort to ensure your daily habits are ones that allow you to socially interact in a way that brings health wealth and happiness to your world.
4 Practices to Develop Great Relationships
- Spend 1 hour a day invested in yourself. In reading, writing and reflecting on your values and beliefs and how you interact socially.
- Focus on having Daily habits that reflect your deepest values.
- If you want to create new beliefs and values, create new habits. Start today knowing the habits you practice today will determine your future.
- Score your habits. Habits are learned behaviours we do without much conscious effort. You don’t forget how to ride a bike, or drive a car. Count the days you practice a new habits. To wire them into your brain as subconscious behaviours needs at least 60 days. Challenge yourself to repeat a new habit for 60 days, or even go for 100% days.
Change Your Habits. Change your values. Stop the critic.
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Emotional Immaturity is a Reflection of An Inner Critic
Stop It
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